what has gotten in to me....

I am starting to panic.  How did I decide to commit to this crazy 30 day cleanse.  Have I mentioned what I can not have for 30 days...lets see.

• Caffeine  -- Honestly not too worried about
• Sugar & Artificial Sweeteners (including gum) -- Seriously No Gum or Sugar....
• Gluten & Whites (white rice, white potatoes, flour, wheat)....Isn't this like everything I eat.
• Alcohol.... WTF
• Animal Products (including Fish & Eggs)...No eggs, no fish, no meat....NO WAY

I know why I want to do it.  I have been sickly all summer and fall.  I have been off for months and I really do want to feel better.  I am tired of colds, headaches, exhaustion.  Maybe this will help, maybe not but it surely cannot hurt because I cannot seem to get my physical shit together.   The other reason, I want to lose weight.  Most of that will come from an Alcohol free month (wait what???) but some it will be by resetting my food eating patterns.  I can't help but wonder if all my friends and the quoted recommenders of this program really feel so awesome afterwards because of the cleanse or because they were already frigging health nuts before they started?

I have started to pay attention to what I eat to see if any of it will qualify for the next 30 days....turns out that it will not.  99.9% of everything I eat is on the list of no.  What will I eat then?   It promises I will not starve but I am pretty sure that I am going to have a tough time.   I am a little surprised watching my choices about two things.  1) How hard it is to make the right choice ...either no I do not need food or I should have something better than what I "WANT" to eat.  2) How spectacularly crappy I actually eat.  I am pretty sure I am getting no where near the vitamins and minerals and all that good stuff I need to be healthy.

I even cut back on my drinking so that wouldn't be such a shock to my system.  It has been interesting the first week was really hard and 7 days into it I had one night of a "slip".  The night after the marathon I drank too (pain and reward) but I haven't been driven like I was before and it seems more ok to not have a few drinks.  Will that really last for 30 days?  Remember I didn't make it 7 yet...it has been maybe 3-5 years since I really stopped drinking for any length of time.

That on top of my "new" training plan.  The next month could be pure hell...but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger right?