what comes to you in the dark of the night?

The fog clears finally and my head is starting to feel like my own.  The cough is annoying and inconsistant but if that is all I end up with tomorrow I will be quite pleased at my progress.  I do not relish tonights sleep however.  Lately I have tossed and turned, plagued with night sweats and then freezing, but if that is not enough my dreams are filling my head and haunting me into the day.

Have you ever woken up confused about the night, wondering what actually just happened?   Sometimes I want to remember the intricate stories that are my dreams to retell and share because they feel like a part of my life - even though I know they are not.  At times I am pretty sure that I have had an literary masterpiece or blockbuster movie traverse my neural synapsis.  I have tried in earnest to restart or finish a dream - desperately needing to know how it ended almost a sense of completion is required.

Is it possible to read too many stories that you start to lose the lines of reality of who you have met and the things you have experience versus what you have observed in a book?  Is there ever a confusion in your mind on which is real - your life or the dream world? Ever wake up scared or angry and you have to remember the reason is not real.  Sometimes I feel as if I only exist in pieces and in moments of times and only because others see me and know me and I wonder if I was not seen for a few days or weeks would I start to disappear from the world.  I know that this is not real, but in the dark of the night the dreams create confusion and a piece of my struggle and sense of isolation that feels more powerful than my reality.

Do not get me wrong I am not that unhinged that dreams and real life are dancing in my head unable to unwind from each other even when the music stops...but sometimes....