Once upon a time I was a kid and when I was a kid I went to school and had some friends and barely made it through the whole experience.  There  are people I remembered, teachers I remembered but for the most part it was a blur and forgotten, not just elementary school but all the way until my 20's.  Fast forward many many years and some miraculous technology and Facebook enters the picture.  I am reconnected with people that I went to school with - some I remember and some honestly I do not.   I look at their pictures and I am never in anything but the classroom poised photo.  I do not remember any of the times that the pictures were taken and have no idea where I was.  I also saw pictures of staff and faculty and that was a bigger shock as i did not recognize a single person.  It actually makes me wonder if my history is real and what did I really experience during those years.  I am not sure any of the people that have "friended me" really remember me.  How could they -  when I barely remember myself?

So I have some weird reaction when I travel.  I get super motivated and introspective and live in this ideal world.  I wrote up the below while on a plane and I was not even drinking.  Maybe it is just the thin air or maybe it is the solitary time as I rarely talk to anyone and just think about who and what I want to be.  It is not all bad and some of it is worth thinking about but most of it just fantasy.  It is the rare hopefulness of what I can accomplish.

Before I add the dream talk, I want to add a bit about the cleanse.  Honestly I was hoping it would make me feel better.  It is better than where I was, but honestly I was in the heart of true gluttony.  I was eating everything bad for me from rich fabulous cheeses to desserts to massive quantities of anything.  I had lost perspective and would inhale food without thinking about it.  I had no governors, no rules, and no mechanism to really stop.  I realized that this cleanse has brought me to realize that I was really out of sync.  I had tried to modulate on my own but I could not get my act together.  This has really helped me understand what I have been putting into my body.  Losing 6 pounds also shows that it was dying to get off my body. However, the illusive fabulous energy, incredible skin, better sleep and all that has been very illusive.  I do not feel awful but I just do not feel very good either.  I really miss the energy during working out and running.  I feel like an empty shell.  I am not sure I will go beyond the 14 day point because I really do not like how I feel but I am not sure how to make it better - but I think it has something to do with a little more carbs and protein but still keeping my calorie level low enough to lose some of the weight I have wanted to lose.