Yeah Me!

That is right I am going to blow my own horn.  Not because of my awesome race time - because believe me it was not pretty but because I managed to quell and silence the screaming of how much I suck through my race.  I have not trained and I have failed at most of my races in the last few months, so this is a pretty huge accomplishment. 



Things I did not do:
1) Apologize a gazillion times for how much I suck.
2) Beg My Guy to go ahead without me
3) Keep looking behind me to see how far behind I was
4) Get pissed off at myself for how much I suck.

Things I managed to do:
1) Thank My Guy for being so supportive 
2) Focus on trying to do as well as I could
3) Try to enjoy (even though I was dying) the run.

So pretty damn proud of myself because honestly ...that is huge for me.  Won the war...no way...but small steps need to be rewarded and acknowledged.  Of coarse, there are many battles left to fight and this morning I felt my crazy mind running away from me.  So I did pretty good ...I could do better....I could totally figure out an awesome training plan and get right back where I was and probably run my marathon in 10 weeks.   My other side starts with the insanity of but you cannot do that, you are tired, you suck, you don't have that kind of will power, 10 weeks - ARE YOU INSANE!

My mind literally becomes a runaway train between the hard ass that will do it and the wimp that will totally not do it.  Exhaustion comes over me as I have split brains fighting amongst themselves with me on the sidelines watching a duel of wits - literally.

This morning I thought I would provide some theme music to how i feel today...but not be one of those annoying sites that auto plays it.  - Enjoy.

• Runaway Train by Soul Asylum

More Soul Asylum music on iLike