blah blah blah

I made it a whole week doing what I had planned for training and I am proud of myself because it wasn't easy.  The tugs and pulls of the desire to distract and reward and sabotage my training were very strong and felt a little like sand or grit in the gears.  Things felt slightly uncomfortable and even on this side of irritating especially on the weekend when time is plentiful and thoughts of slipping into the old habits are stronger.  Week 2 has started and I have already made a deal about missing swimming last night (traded last night for Sunday afternoon) because my tooth was killing me (stupid dentist) and my period was kicking my ass.  I did do ab ripper yesterday morning regardless of how I was feeling and I did get a slight bit better and my stomach muscles are not on fire.  It is small steps forward to keeping on the plan and I still feel motivated to stick to it. I just wonder when the training becomes more comfortable than the memory of the eating and drinking and kicking back?  

One of the things I am struggling with is where does the balance come in and when?  Sunday after exercising we splurged on some sushi and alcohol.  It caused me to gain 1 pound (although that could have been period weight) but more importantly it kind of screwed up the rest of the day because we were wiped out.  We crashed for the rest of the night and it was a struggle until we went to bed.  We had more than we should have potentially but we did not have a lot: 1 big beer, 1/2 bottle of saki each and a ton of sushi.  Maybe we would have been wiped out either way from all the exercise - I don't know but I started to wonder where is the line?  Drinking is LOTS of calories and a huge de-motivator but it is a integral part of adult social life - well at least for us.  I am not craving physically (I thought I would) but it is a strong draw when it comes to relaxing and hanging out.  It is a habit with a strong hold on my patterns.

Well I didn't have much to say this morning and I have limited time as I have to go running this morning.   I am not sure where my writing mind is but it seems to have left the house.  More tomorrow and hopefully I will have a bit more clarity in mind.