Swimming went ok last night. I worked on my form - or tried to - but I pushed it on my 8th lap and was a little winded and ended up screwing up my breathing and felt like I was going to drown. I handled it well and got on my back and kicked through to the end of the length. The problem is that it totally freaked out my confidence and I struggled to do another half lap. I stopped as I figured it was better than continuing to freak myself out. The problem was odd, it was like I forgot how to not breath in through my nose so I sucked in a bunch of water. I am committed to going on Wednesday, even though my guy is out of town, just so I do not have that be where I stop for awhile. I want to make sure my angst is kept in check. It did make me realize how hard I am going to need to work to be able to swim a 1/4 mile for a triathlon. Not only do I have to build endurance but the confidence I will not die. You know - the small things. Everything I read talks about you getting trampled by people in the swimming and that would right now make me turn around and get out. Fear conquering stuff here.
It turns out all I need is a little warmer run gear and I could run in 12 degree weather without issue. I think I need a full face mask and maybe a warmer pants but it is supposed to be all about the layers. It sounds crazy to me but I know it is right. I have decided that I would be cold all day is I ran in the freezing cold in the morning. I have a little gear, but not too much, before I can feel good about going running in this type of weather. At least for today I tonight I am going to do a P90x CardioX unless I can manage a quick trip to the running store to get pants and a face mask. I will definitely have purchased the necessary goods for a Thursday run - the question is only if I do it at night or in the morning.
I am ploying with what I am going to do about my diet. I "hung out" silently on the
21 day vegan health start website and it did help make it all seem not as scary as the one I did with
Tony Horton's chef. That one was too much too soon. Although honestly as overwhelming as it felt, I felt better and lost tons of weight on the program. The Karma Chow on was big $$ and less informative with fewer recipes that the free online one and both of them were nothing more that providing guidelines and recipes to meet those guidelines. I do think the alcohol and sugar cleanse were more a part of why I lost weight with the Karma Chow. The question is I enjoy food but it does not make me feel that good after I eat it. It either makes me feel ugh or it makes me fat which is equally as destructive.
Jack LaLanne the health guru had two rules of nutrition "if man made it, don't eat it, and if it taste good, spit it out." Such a different relationship with food than I have. He also worked out two hours a morning and was in fabulous shape and lived until he was 98. I wonder if some of the neglect of my body is that living until I am 98 is not super exciting to me. I have no idea what I would do for another 50 years. God would I have to work all those years? I would need a savings plan. I do not want to swing all the way but I do want to make changes so I can feel better about myself and actually just feel better.
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