I could have been traditional and written on January 1st and spelled out my resolutions to the world. Or I could have written about my struggles to finish the 10K on New Years Day struggling with being out of shape and horribly hung over from too much wine the night before. However, I made a conscious choice to wait until tonight because tonight was the testament to my resolve towards improving things. Tonight I did the impossible and left my home, went to a pool and swam for about 30-40 minutes to begin practicing for my Tri. Not only was I successful in sticking with my goal, but I was able to swim 25 yards without stopping - for the first time ever. It made me feel great. My guy told me that 1/4 mile swim would be 9 laps and that seemed doable and that I will be able to accomplish my triathlon sprint goal.
Of coarse that is not the only goal and the whole thing has me a bit nervous this year. I think this year I am taking my goals more seriously than I have in the past. I am not sure how I will look myself in the eye if I do not commit to myself and work to become this image I have of myself. I can barely type out my whiney words any more and being that person does not feel good. I want this year to be a year I can be proud of and feel good about. I do not want to scrape across my goal finish line but finish knowing I did what I could to be successful. I had a good friend once talk to me about how good he felt after he had done well in a race because he had tried to do well. I wonder if I do not try because that way no matter how I do I can always blame the lack of preparation rather than the failed effort.
I want to be the person that finishes a marathon in under 5 hours. I want to be the person that can do a triathlon.
I decided to publish then even though I never really finished it. The irony is not lost on me that the post about my motivation sat in draft mode for over a week while I totally blew my entire goals for the week. Not lost on me at all...
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