I have been debating in my head for like ever about this stupid vegan/gluten free cleanse that a friend of mine has going on. Several of my friends have done it and rave about it and have continued being vegans. I struggle with this because people I love meat. I like red meat, white meat, the other white meat - you name it I will eat it and that does not even being to cover my passion for cheese - not eating cheese would be like dying a little.
Why in gods name would you want to live a life that was lacking in these basic pleasures - what the hell motivates these people to make these extreme choices? With the outbreak of allergies, hormone fed animals and environmental chaos due to the food we eat - is that something I should worry about? Should it worry me that I have turned a blind eye to the environmental impact, the health benefits and the respect of animal quality of life? Maybe I should on all these counts, but it doesn't. (Have you seen the TED video about the future does not have to be a nightmare, worth a view) The better question is why do I think they are better than me, and better off because they have the will power and commitment to do these things?
I tend to get lost between the extremes. I do not know if I have always had a problem with moderation but I think I have. I never have 1 or 2 glasses of wine, I drink the bottle. I never run 3 miles and feel good about it. I rarely eat a moderate dinner - it is either super healthy (rare) or indulgent (most common) or just skip (see indulgent meal before). My lack of commitment to the moderate leads me to be susceptible to these extreme ideas to right myself. The lack of moderation definition allows me the room to be a slacker where as the extreme is so well defined I know if I am on path or not.
Is moderation really something that can not be defined? For example, I will eat out a few times a month (try week) or I will have 1 or 2 glasses of wine - but they are decision that have to be made on the fly and committed to through the duration. I suck at that. I do not think I am alone on this because I think all the extremes come from the desire to have your decisions made for you so you do not have to make the right choice or allow yourself to change.
I watched this TED Video about how rules and regulations are causing us to lose our mental muscle for making morality decisions and depending on virtue. If you have a rule for it, you do not have to think and if most things do not make you think - you struggle when you actually have to do it. The irony is that I do not live in a very rule driven world, but a world of routine. Foursquare has shown me how completely bland and boring my life is because I go to work and come home and that is it most days. There are no decisions to be made. I have responsibilities and I do what is necessary. I am a gerbil in the wheel except I am smart enough (who knows maybe gerbils know too?) that I am just in this treadmill of responsibility.
All my choices have constructs and outside influences that really never let me wander too far off the beaten track. This means that when I am trying to manage my behavior I have let the moral decision muscles get flabby and wallow in inadequacy and self-hatred and just keep waffling all the while idolizing my extremist counterparts for their discipline. I think though it takes more discipline to not be held by strict rules and guidelines and try to find the balance. The definition of balance and moderation is internal to every human and not something that you can find written down somewhere - there is no recipe.
Happiness has to be defined by the individual. I should idolize and realign my heroes with the ones that have found a way to make their life about all the things that they must do plus the things that they like to do and have managed to make it work for them. Just a thought but maybe I should start using that muscle to find the way to keep the balance between the things I love to do to feel alive and the things I need to do....without feeling such pressure to commit so much to either so that neither succeed. I cannot help but wonder if it is the word commit that is catching in my brain when I say that or if it something else? I always claim I do not know what I love to do - who I want to be - but am I just afraid to relax and just be me?
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