I know I have been missing in action for awhile.  It has been gnawing on me that I have not been writing but I was not quite ready to face myself so I have been hiding from my blog.  A ton of things have happened and they are hard to all recount but the good news is that I have found myself a new job.  For my mental health, this was really needed because the negativity from work was impacting my ability to laugh and smile at home.  The irony is that the leaving part is incredibly hard on me as a person and I wonder the value of giving any real notice unless you have a specific task to do.  Being at work right now is difficult because I have become - as I should be - completely irrelevant. You add that with the awkwardness of being the one who is leaving and my own feelings of loyalty and guilt - these last few days have been really difficult.  Good news is that it almost over and I have a plan to mitigate the impact for next week so really I am calling it as of yesterday.

I have been "blaming" work for the stress and my complete over indulgence and under performing.  I think some of it is true because winding down from work I am really sort of shocked at how exhausted I feel.  I have 9 days more or less off and it is going to be my goal to feel better and rested at the end of this time.  It is going to require a little less alcohol and perhaps a work out or two rather than the type of days that is just feasting and indulgence.  I need a plan otherwise the days will just swirl and rush by and I will not really remember doing anything other that being on my computer or watching TV.  I will have read the internet if I do not have some sort of strategy.

Things I have though of is Dog Walking, Cooking, Reading (lame because I always do that), swimming, working out/running and that is really it - of coarse because those are always my standard answers.  Maybe it is a "one day at a time" type thing.  Today my goal is to go to the dog park, get a new phone and go see Tron and that does not seem very ambitious. Tomorrow the only thing on my list is a 5K run that I am dreading because I am so gross right now.  I have a whole list of things I would like to learn and do but when it comes to thinking about doing them and bringing the into the day I fail miserably.  I found this list of semi-productive things to do and it reminded me that I had put together a list and started to work on it slowly.

Here is my list:

• The stars/sky - I found a monthly meeting where there is a lecture and stargazing at Harvard.
• Learn a language - I am looking at classes rather than self-learning but trying to find ones that are not crazy money.  
• Rock Climbing - I dread this because of the shape I am in but it might be a fun thing to do as a regular night time or weekend activity.
• Guitar - Picking that back up and trying to play.
• Urban explorations - finding abandoned building to take pictures of even though I am not the photographer in the house.
• Geocaching just to try and see what it is like.
• Museums/Art - there are a ton of museums and art galleries to go and look at.  
• Yoga - I used to be really into Yoga and meditation and it was good for my mind and soul.  I should think about this more.
• Volleyball/Indoor soccer/some pick up type games that do not intimidate the hell out of me.

I will work today and tomorrow to do things with purpose and try to plan for a 9 days that brings me back around and releases my stress and prepares me for my new adventure!  If I don't write tomorrow....I will have already lost an opportunity.